


A God's Mightiest Tool

by Nesskka



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Zag and Than share one (1) brain cell, Zagreus dies a couple of times but that's okay : ), Zagreus has a plan to survive on the surface, fan art linked in the description, this idea lived in my mind rent free for months
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nesskka/pseuds/Nesskka
Summary: “ It’s quite simple really,” Zagreus had said, trying to explain himself. “The only time I didn’t die while on the surface was when I was on the river Styx. My mother said something about how I was no longer technically on the mortal realm anymore or something like that.”“So what, are you planning on just swimming in the river Styx until you get bored, step out of the water, and die?”“Yes and no? If everything goes well, I won’t have to die as fast. That’s the fun part.”“I’m still not sure I entirely follow your plan here.”“Well, I was just getting to the rest of it,” Zagreus smirked. “I just thought well, if that’s the case with me not dying on the river Styx... what if I were to take the river’s waters with me… by way of a bucket.”Thanatos took a moment to process everything the prince has just said. He was going to attempt to stay alive on the surface. By using a bucket. “Zag you can’t be serious. Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now?”Alternatively: Zagreus tries to survive on the surface by using water from the Styx and a bucket. Cute ThanZag stuff ensues.
Relationships: Hypnos & Thanatos (Hades Video Game), Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 106





	A God's Mightiest Tool

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I’ve always been a reader instead of a writer but Hades gave me the brain rot that said “you have ideas now and you need to write them out now” so here we are. Hope you guys enjoy this silly idea of mine.  
> Additionally, check out this [amazing art](https://twitter.com/TatarinovaLavy/status/1370244302463451140) that @TatarinovaLavy drew for this fic!! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL okay I'm gonna cry.

“Zagreus, is everything alright?” Thanatos looked at Zagreus with a curious expression. Currently, he and Zagreus are at the surface, with Hades freshly defeated by the prince. Usually, when Thanatos is summoned by Mort, he gets in, helps Zagreus, and gets out. This occasion was different. When he arrived, fully expecting to either face the wretches of the underworld or even lord Hades himself, he instead found that there were no enemies to cut down. Before leaving, thinking that Zagreus must have made a mistake, Zagreus rushed to Thanatos to tell him that he had a special reason for summoning him.

“It’s quite simple really,” Zagreus had said, trying to explain himself. “The only time I didn’t die while on the surface was when I was on the river Styx. My mother said something about how I was no longer technically on the mortal realm anymore or something like that.”

“So what, are you planning on just swimming in the river Styx until you get bored, step out of the water, and die?”

“Yes and no? If everything goes well, I won’t have to die as fast. That’s the fun part.”

“I’m still not sure I entirely follow your plan here.”

“Well, I was just getting to the rest of it,” Zagreus smirked. “I just thought well, if that’s the case with me not dying on the river Styx... what if I were to take the river’s waters with me… by way of a bucket.”

Thanatos took a moment to process everything the prince has just said. He was going to attempt to stay alive on the surface. By using a bucket. “Zag you can’t be serious. Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now?”

Instead of replying right away, Zagreus turned his back to Thanatos and bent down to the river to fill the bucket he somehow managed to bring with him all the way to the surface. “I’m kinda half-expecting this to not really work if that’s what you’re asking," he turned to face Thanatos once more and placed the bucket on the ground beside himself. "But if I'm going to die anyway in an unavoidable, anticlimactic death every time I defeat my lord father, might as well make this death interesting. And I needed someone to keep me company while I wait to see if this works and thought of you.” 

Thanatos knew that once Zagreus made up his mind about something, there was no stopping him. He was just about to go on break anyway, so Thanatos decided to not say anything and just watch as Zagreus stepped his bare flame-licked feet onto the now filled bucket. The water lightly sizzled from the contact.

“Um well, that’s to be expected I suppose,” Zagreus commented looking down at his feet.

“I still can’t wrap my head around what I’m watching right now. How long do you usually survive up here until the Fates take you away?”

“About 30 minutes, give or take. Which is why, wonderful companionship aside, I need you. You’re basically the god of punctuality, so I thought you would be better at keeping track of time than I.”

Thanatos rolled his eyes, although they both knew there was no malicious merit behind it. If he was being honest, the scenery was a nice change of pace from their usual meet-ups. Thanatos can’t count the number of times he has been in the smoldering heats of Ashopdel just to catch Zagreus in a run. _It’s all worth it though_ , he thought to himself, looking at Zagreus. 

A nice conversation started between the two, filling the time. Except for the occasional contests they shared, the two gods didn’t really have much time to talk to each other as of late. Another mortal war started, and Zagreus has been determined to try and break his record on the number of punishments he can stack up in an escape attempt. At least now, Thanatos finally had some downtime with his beloved prince of the underworld. Though admittedly, he had to force himself not to look down to see Zagreus standing there in a bucket when conversing. Every time he did, it would break his concentration from the sheer absurdity of it all. 

After some considerable amount of time passing, Thanatos took note of it. “It’s been around 30 minutes Zag.”

Zagreus perked up. “Yeah, your right, I can tell. I don't think I've ever survived on the surface for this long before, even when I was able to talk to my mother. This could be just a coincidence though… so I guess there’s only one way to find out. Death time!”

“Only you, of all beings, would say such a thing so casually.”

“And that’s exactly why we make such a good match, don’t you think? I’ll gladly accept death if it means I get to go home in your arms.”

Not expecting such sincerity, Thanatos felt his cheeks heat up in a slight flush, proving to Zagreus just how correct he is. “As much as I want to do that this time, I don’t think I would even have the opportunity to do so. I can sense how eager the Styx is to take you.”

“I guess that makes sense….well, either way, there’s only one way to find out about my fate, right?” He hesitantly lifted his right foot out of the water and into the cold snow of the surface. A moment passed.

“I haven't died yet. Maybe it has to be both f— Urgh!”

Before Zagreus could even finish his sentence, the god was sent back to the House of Hades. Taken by the Styx.

The only thing left behind was the bucket. Sighing, Thanatos glided over to it and dumped out the remaining water back to its source. _I don't think he had any idea on how to get this thing back to him_. With the bucket now tucked safely underneath his arm, Thanatos shifted to the house. By the time he was there, Zagreus was already talking to Hypnos.

“It worked! It actually worked Hypnos!” Zagreus said with incredible joy. 

“I'm not sure that it totally worked, seeing as you’re back here and all, but ahh, good job I guess!!” Hypnos shifted his eyes to meet Thanatos, noticing his presence. “Oh hey bro! Didn’t see ya there. Did you hear what happened with Zagreus? He said he survived longer on the surface by using a bucket of all things!”

Thanatos unconsciously glanced down to the bucket in his arm before looking back to Hypnos. Hypnos, who now was looking at the bucket, started to laugh. “Looks like you already know then!” 

Embarrassed, Thanatos quickly shoved the bucket back to Zagreus, which landed on Zagreus’ chest with a light oof and a following thanks.

“Don’t tell anyone about this,” he said to Hypnos. With how weird this plan was, Thanatos was sure that Zagreus hasn’t told anyone about this bucket idea yet aside from Hypnos and himself. The thought of Thanatos having to explain Zagreus’ plan to his lord Hades made him want to disappear by the thought alone. 

“Oh don’t you worry about that! Between my work and my sleeping, I wouldn’t even have the time for it! Not that I would say anything in the first place,” Hypnos said with his usual cheer. 

“I’m glad we have an understanding then, brother.” Hypnos was a lot of things, and being truthful, almost to a fault, was one of them. If Hypnos said he isn’t going to tell anyone about this, he meant it. 

With the conservation with Hypnos seeming to be over, he and Zagreus started to walk down to Zagreus’ chambers. The prince’s face wore a mischievous grin, a sight that Thanatos has seen countless times.

“You know I’m going to try this again the next time I’m out there right?” 

“I wouldn't expect anything different,” he smiled. “Remember that one time when we were younger you thought it would be fun to try and see what you could and could not set on fire with your feet?”

Zagreus gave out a small chuckle. “Oh totally. I still can't figure out why the carpets don't catch on fire when I step on them but the curtains do.”

“It’s a mystery best left unsolved,” Thanatos replied lightheartedly. 

They arrived at the front of Zagreus’ chambers. Thanatos looked to see if his mother was there so he could greet her, but found that she was absent. She might be with Chaos then. Zagreus moved from being on Thanatos’ side to face the front of him. It was then that the prince’s face suddenly dropped to a more serious one.

“Hey Than look. I just want to make sure. Are you really okay with me summoning you for some company while I’m up there waiting? I know that you have a busy schedule to attend to and all.”

“It’s alright, Zagreus. I will not complain about having the opportunity to spend more time together,” he brought his hand to caress Zagreus’ cheek. “Besides, it would be nice to have some extra time with you given how busy we’ve both been.” 

Zagreus, with his previous serious expression now completely evaporated, rushed out a “Great then, I’ll see you on the surface!” Before Thanatos could even respond, Zagreus went to his tippy-toes to place a quick kiss onto Thanatos’ lips before running to his room. “Bye love!”

With a smitten smile on his face, Thanatos lingered in front of Zagreus’ room for a couple of seconds before shifting away. _Until next time_. 

The second time Thanatos was summoned, the god of death knew that he was going to be confronted with the sight of Zagreus standing there in a bucket. He knew this. And yet, when actually seeing this scene once again, Thanatos couldn't help but question everything in his life that led him to his point. Out of all the things that could help Zagreus survive on the surface, it just had to be a bucket. Not a boon, not a magical vial, or an enchanted necklace, but a bucket. The only conclusion Thanatos could think of for this is that the Fates must really enjoy making their immortal lives as interesting as possible.

This time, for his second attempt, Zagreus decided to stand in the bucket for double the amount of time they originally waited. Thanatos tried to stay for as long as he could, but his work called for him. So he took count of how much time was left and promised to return when the time was nearing its end. When Thanatos did return, Zagreus was singing of all things. It seemed like he didn't notice his presence yet, as he was singing with his eyes closed. “What are you doing?” Thanatos finally asked when the song reached its conclusion, not wanting to interrupt.

“Oh! Thanatos! You’re back. I wasn’t expecting for you to return so soon,” the god’s eyes were now open, looking down at the ground self-consciously. “You were gone and I had nothing to do, so, I started singing one of Orpheus’ and Eurydice’s songs… I was terrible wasn’t I?”

“No! No, you weren’t. It’s not that, it was just… unexpected,” the last thing Thanatos wants is for Zagreus to feel ashamed of himself. Unfortunately, the prince didn't receive much praise from his father while growing up and is much more accustomed to criticism more than anything. “I didn't get to hear much of it, but from what I heard… it was nice.” 

Zagreus, still flustered, made out an “Oh, well. That’s good to know I guess.” 

“Singing aside, I think all of this time passing without you dying ultimately proves theory to be correct. Congratulations, Zag. You really did it. You found a way to survive on the surface.” 

“ I did, didn’t I?” Zagreus now bore a proud simile. “Although, If I’m being honest, I really didn’t expect to get this far… I don’t really know what to do next.”

“I would assume the next logical step would be to tell the rest of the house and your Olympian family of this news, unless you have something else in mind?”

“That was the plan initially, yes, but now I’m having second thoughts. I mean, my family up upon Olympius would probably expect me to arrive in a more… I don’t know… more godly state? Not just for me to finally arrive there standing there awkwardly in a bucket the whole time.” 

Thanatos looked at Zagreus in disbelief. “Zagreus. These are the Olympians we are talking about. One came out fully-formed from the head of Zeus, another one from his thigh, and another from the cut-up genitals of Uranus. Weird circumstances are their normal. They might tease you about it, sure, but they’re no stranger to these types of situations.”

“Okay, when you put it like that, yeah, I see your point," he brought his hand to the back of his neck. "Good thing I have you to keep me in check though. What would I do without you?" 

"Probably die a lot faster," he said quite seriously, which earned a quick chuckle from Zag.

"Speaking of Death," he glanced down to the ground, "it's time for me to take my leave."

“Bye Zag.” 

"Bye Than!"

With those words, Zagreus gladly stepped out of his life-preserving vessel and was immediately sent back to the underworld. When he did emerge from the waters of Styx, it was said that the god wore a grin so big that even his lord father was able to see it from his throne.

_It was from that point on that the prince of the underworld, free from his born-realm, was finally able to go visit his Olympian family. There was joy, laughter, celebration, and most certainly, there was the fate-defying prince Zagreus, who stood majestically in his bucket, for all upon Olympus to see._

**Author's Note:**

> So uh this was supposed to be a dumb silly thing where Zag goes to Olympus while standing on a bucket the whole time while the fam affectionately roasts him about it but then Zag and Than started being cute and I had to let it happen. Thank you to all those in the ThanZag discord for giving me the inspiration to try this out. Y’all are so awesome.  
> Here's the [the link](https://twitter.com/TatarinovaLavy/status/1370244302463451140) to the art again : )


End file.
